The five main guidelines that have been found to lead to the most powerful sense of connection and the joy that comes from that are:
1. The focus is on the listening from the heart, listening with no judgement and no response. Aim is to not plan what we are going to say but to feel into it.
2. Expressing from the heart, What are you feeling in this moment. Using only I statements (not you or we) as however empathetic we think we are, only each individual really knows what they feel. There is no other purpose to the expression than sharing ourselves.
3. Keeping it lean, what is present now. Not repeating a story that has been told over and over.
4. Being spontaneous - if what someone has said moves you or reminds you of a story share that.
5. Confidentiality: for people to feel safe, they need to know that what they say will not become the topic of gossip.
In the Kalikalos Centres, I believe it is this practice that creates the sense of connection between people and the sense of being part of something. This sharing keeps people coming back year after year. In Findhorn the attunement before the work shifts enables people to have sympathy and understand what the other people in the team are going through, support can then be offered to those not operating at 100%.